However, secrets aren’t all fun and games. SECRECY is something you ‘withhold’ from one another.” — “PRIVACY is when you want to go to the bathroom or pick your nose without your spouse looking —or try to buy them a gift without them knowing. PRIVACY is acceptable. The other partner is aware of this space and respects it without intrusion. Secrets are for people who are not in a covenant marriage.If you desire to honor your vows, strive to be as open and upfront with your spouse as you can. Will you resent having to ask permission to be with your friends? Secrecy and privacy are different, and understanding these differences may be crucial in your relationship. SECRECY is when you feel guilty about something that you can’t tell your spouse.” — “PRIVACY in marriage is your own personal space. “There is not a crime, there is not a dodge, there is not a trick, there is not a swindle, there is not a … While most spouses are put off by their spouse’s secrecy, some become unwilling participants in it. SECRECY is something you ‘withhold’ from one another.” Afraid to let family, friends and colleagues discover the betrayal, they too lie to protect the very person who lied to them.We hear it all the time… “I need my privacy.” Or “I should be allowed to have some things that are kept private in this marriage.” As a marriage coach and infidelity specialist I would agree that some privacy can be permitted within a marriage. Secrecy, then, is when we choose to keep something to ourselves knowing that there may be negative consequences if it were to be revealed. The more and more transparent I get, the bigger the sense of freedom I feel.
There is a huge difference between the two.“In marriage, secrets are as dangerous as lies.
Because where privacy is about having a life that you don’t share with others, secrecy is about intentionally hiding information.
But these spouses aren’t talking about privacy, they’re talking about secrecy. Fear of a spouse’s reaction can cause us to begin to hide something that we purchased or to say that we were at the office when we were with friends. And that is what we are talking about here—the difference between secrecy and privacy.The following are a few quotes written by Dr. Laura Schlessinger from her book, — “PRIVACY is something you ‘give’ someone out of respect.
These secrets are actions, beliefs or parts of ourselves that we deliberately keep hidden out of fear of its impact. This is something the other partner is unaware of, and in essence, it’s a lie.— PRIVACY is having some quality time or spiritual time alone. SECRECY in a marriage can be a form of deceit.”— “PRIVACY is the withholding of info concerning yourself, the disclosure of which would be of no benefit to the partner, and which you don’t wish to share. For instance, what if you think that talking to a friend of the opposite Put yourself in their shoes for a moment; how do you think they will feel? Will your partner feel guilty and resent you for making them feel like your parent? I have felt a huge shift lately. It’s also problematic when one spouse doesn’t tell the other when he or she meets up, or chats privately with someone else. Will they assume that you were hiding something from them?
When secrets of this nature are discovered or revealed they shake the underpinnings of a relationship and create feelings of betrayal, vulnerability and insecurity in one’s partner.In marriage, the Bible teaches us to cleave together “as one.” It is extremely troublesome to have secret cell phones, usernames and passwords. Secrets consist of information that has potentially negative impact —emotionally, physically, or financially.
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